God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
as a side note pls kill me
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
