dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
