one might say we're banned from that church
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
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