I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
