i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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