allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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