I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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