He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
