never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
