I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
