Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize