what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
