saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
organizing the empties. That sober.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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