My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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