btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
