They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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