I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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