he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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