it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
