i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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