I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
