I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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