I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
