Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
