My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
