She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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