Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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