I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The struggles of a small town man whore
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
