I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize