Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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