The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
