I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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