My nipple is on Facebook.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
