Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
