Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
