dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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