this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
