when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
