I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
