eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just blew my weed a kiss
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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