who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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