i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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