Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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