Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
tell me about the fingering
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