I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
