She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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