i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
