i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize