Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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