I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize