well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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