i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
