I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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