he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
