his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
