so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
