Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
