I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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