Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
