your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize