Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
