I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
