Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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