There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
wow bdsm is so cute
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