How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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