I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
