Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
