the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
